Be present!

There has to be a change in the way we think about fatherhood in these turbulent times. Every situation may have its own set of dynamics, but there is no excuse for not spending precious time with ones children. Men make great sacrifices to become accomplished businessmen, athletes, musicians, and so on without giving much thought to the amount of time, money, or travel required to achieve the dream. So why do men let time, distance, and money stop them from being present in the life of their child when they need us so desperately? Even in the most difficult relationships, and beyond divorce it is possible to have a positive and meaningful relationship with your children.  It is a matter of choice, so if you’re not around that child will learn a painful lesson about choices early in life. The child will believe you chose not to be present and this will have a lasting impact on their young and adult life. Make no mistake many adults carry the burden of guilt and low self esteem, because their fathers were not present for them. I have seen these feelings apparent in the lives of adults who lived with their biological fathers. These indivuduals were convinced in their own minds that their fathers never truly loved them. How much more will an individual be convinced if a father is absent and uninvolved. So, it is possible for a father to be in a home, but not make his presence real in the life of his child.

Remember it’s not your location, but your presence that really matters in the life of a child. Ultimately, this is essential to that child having a healthy relationship with their father and a more stable and productive adult life.